


Walk With Me

by wolfenboy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Cabin, Fluff, Fullshift Wolves, M/M, Nature, Soft Boys, Some sadness, Soulmates kinda, Storms, Thiam, Wolf Theo Raeken, soft end, soft wolves, wolf - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-03-28 07:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13898934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfenboy/pseuds/wolfenboy
Summary: After a string of failed relationships, Liam drives to the middle of nowhere to be alone and reflect on his life. He takes in a stray dog, spending most of his time talking to it and working through his problems, only to find out that it's not a dog at all...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a secret thiam fic that starts with a mountain of sadness, but will be so soft. There needs to be sad times at the start to make it so so soft later! 
> 
> This is AU, so Liam is a bit older and isn't a werewolf (yet? kinda? You'll see ;) )
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t2paMM0QT8

Liam watched as each tree passed, losing track of their individual shapes and forms. The ice and snow climbed around them, covering the forest in a cold grip. The dull thrum of the wiper blades filled the car. He gripped the steering wheel. He’d been driving for several days. The break up hadn’t been as big as some of the past ones—it had also been amicable to a point. He wasn’t sure why it was different. Wasn’t sure why when he turned to leave their apartment he got into the car and started to drive North, as far as he could, stopping only to sleep.

After the third day the numbness receded, leaving behind a growing ache in his body—it was impossible to pinpoint. Sometimes it lived in his teeth. Other times he felt it in his ribcage. A vague sense of loss. Of something missing. He’d felt it before, many times. But it had never been this strong, this sharp.

He’d crossed the boarder with little fanfare, keeping to the main highways and following the signs until he got to a small town far from the lights and the noise of civilization. He’d managed to rent a small cabin with all of the funds he had left, minus some money for food and supplies. Even though the actions were definite, Liam had no idea what he was doing.

He parked the car beside the small log cabin. It looked cozy enough, and there was a lake nearby with a dock arching over the frozen water. Forest surrounded everything—bare branches grasping at the blue sky, waiting for their leaves to return.

Liam carried everything inside and set it on the counter. The old woman that he’d rented the cabin had prepared the fire so all he needed to do was light a match. He studied the pile of paper and kindling before getting it lit he’d need to make another one later. After a few careful minutes watching the flames grow he placed a dry log into the stove, fire eagerly consuming it.

Liam huddled by the fire, inspecting the interior of the cabin. Everything was hand-made, rustic and simple. There was no electricity. No TV. No computer. He looked at his phone. No cell service. He tossed it onto the quilt-covered bed. He didn’t need it anyway. He didn’t need any of those things. He wasn’t sure what he needed, but at this point it was easier to list the things that didn’t help him. He spotted a frayed leather dog collar on the end table, turning it over in his hands. There was a tag but it was worn off, unreadable.

He threw a few more logs onto the fire then collapsed onto the bed. He held up his hand, studying it. Why was he looking at it? Why was it so important? All the things he’d ever done, all the things he could do. He didn’t want any of them. A restlessness was growing inside of him, but he didn’t know how to get rid of it. He didn’t know what he was meant to do with it. The eager, anxious energy inside of him. The desperate desire for something to change, to be different and better. But at the same time being frozen, unable to take a step forward.

This was his life. Frozen. Amounting to nothing more than tangents and distractions. That’s what all his relationships had been since he was a boy, nothing more. Was he born broken then? Was this just how he was, the default setting? That idea was disturbing. If that was true, how could he fix it? Would he even be able to?

Night fell fast, swallowing the forest in shadows and sounds Liam couldn’t identify. The cabin felt like a fragile egg shell surrounding him—countless things in the darkness could come and crush him along with it in a single swoop. He found that comforting, that it could be over so quickly. The last thought he had before drifting off to sleep was wondering how thick the ice was on the lake, and if the water felt suffocated.

###

He was freezing. The fire had been overstocked, making the cabin boiling hot. Liam had stripped down to his boxers. Now that the fire was out the cold chill of winter covered every inch of the cabin. He wrapped his blanket around himself and knelt by the stove, trying to coax the last few embers alive with some old newspaper. Once the flames were leaping he looked around, grabbing the last of the wood in the cradle and tossing it into the iron stove. He’d have to go to the wood shed to get more firewood later.

He filled the old kettle up with water from the jug on the counter, setting it on top of the stove. When it boiled he made a small cup of tea, sitting at the rickety wooden table and looking out the frost-etched window at the lake just beyond the cabin. Winter was harsh here—a lot colder than back home. It was hard to survive—all the animals and plants migrated or hibernated at this time of year. Only a handful roamed the harsh winter, searching for food and shelter. If he wasn’t careful with the fire he’d be one of them.

The sun was slow to rise. At this time of year there was only a few hours of full daylight—the dusk and dawn were weak afterthoughts added onto either end. Liam went through the bag he’d packed. A few changes of clothes, some food to last him the next month or so, books, and some journals. He thought maybe he could read them over and pinpoint how he’d become so entangled in the mess that was his life. For now he just wanted to sit and look out the window. The rest would come later, when he could manage to even think about it.

He’d need to go into town eventually. He couldn’t avoid human interaction forever, but the thought of speaking to someone, of someone seeing him right now, it was too much for him to process. Liam felt that if he didn’t see another human being for the rest of his life he would be happy. He just needed to figure things out. To untangle life, if he ever found the start of the thread.

He rinsed his mug and curled back into the warm quilts on the bed with a sigh. The fire crackled. He needed to head out to get more wood before it died down and the cold creeped back into the cabin. He dug through his supplied—mostly food but he’d picked up several pairs of long underwear on the recommendation of the store owner. As he pulled them on he was glad he listened.

###

The wood shed was well stocked with lumber, but it hadn’t been split into kindling. Liam eyed the axe, blade stuck into the flat surface of a large, round log. Was he meant to split them to make kindling? He was sure that the owner said there would be some. Maybe they forgot to do it before the snow fell. Either way he’d have to split the wood himself. For now he rooted around, pulling the smallest logs out and bulling chunks of bark off the bigger ones.

Liam watched his breath escape in silver puffs, holding his armload of wood close as he made his way through the snow back to the cabin. He paused when he saw fresh prints in the snow. Someone’s dog had clearly gotten loose and was roaming the country side. He’d have to keep an eye out. He looked into the forest where the track led. Maybe it belonged to the woman who rented the cabin to him. There was an old collar inside. As much as he wanted to be alone the idea of an old dog stuck in the cold was upsetting.

###

Supper was simple—hot dogs cooked on a stick with the oven door open. Liam managed to burn most of them. He tried to eat them but they were so soot-covered he set them aside and cooked a second round that turned out much better. As he ate he thought back to everything that pushed him to the breaking point. His ex wasn’t bad in particular. She had cheated on him a lot—he knew that. When she threw it in his face to try and get a rise out of him he hadn’t reacted. Part of him knew that he hadn’t really cared about her as much as he had been pretending to. It had been the same with his boyfriend before that. Their relationship just faded out, drifting away. He’d given Liam a warning about losing him if he didn’t get his shit together. Liam was happy to just let him go and move on. He knew it wasn’t normal, that is wasn’t ideal. Or healthy.

He pulled the rings out of his pocket. He’d bought them years ago, when he was going to propose to his first boyfriend. That hadn’t worked out the way movies happen. It hadn’t been him, it was Liam. Thinking back, it seemed to be a pattern of self-destruction. He wasn’t sure why, or what he was missing inside that made him feel like he didn’t deserve to happy, but he kept the rings around—a heavy reminder of something he could hold in the palm of his hand but never really grasp.

The wind shifted outside, making the cabin creak. Tree branches rattled against the wooden walls and the window panes shook. Liam glanced up at the window—it looked like a blizzard was starting outside. He flicked on the small radio and listened to the weather report. A two day blizzard. That was fine. It wasn’t like he was going anywhere.

A loud crash followed by a whine caught his attention. It was loud enough to hear over the sound of the wind and snow. Like someone was right beside the cabin, but that was crazy. He was a three hour drive from the next house. Still, he rose to his feet, looking at the snow blowing outside the window. The blizzard diffused the pink of the setting sun, making what light there was soft. Liam held his breath, listening. After several seconds he exhaled, chuckling. Only a crazy person would be out in a blizzard that bad. His heart froze as the silhouette of a man passed in front of the window, headed to the front door. Liam grabbed the iron poker beside the stove, eyes on the door.

The wind howled, mixing with the painful wail of some wild creature. Liam frowned, was there someone with a dog outside his door? He tried to peek outside, but there was nothing except for frost and snow. He wasn’t able to see the front of the cabin from where he was. 

Cautiously he opened the door a crack. The snow and wind nearly pushed him backwards. He scrambled to keep hold of the poker as the door banged against the wall. He held it in front of him, peering into the growing shadows. 

‘Hello?’ He waited for an answer. It didn’t look like anyway was around, and any tracks were erased by the gathering snow. A step outside the door revealed more—there was a big, black shape laying in the snow. Liam squinted. It looked like a dog. Everything clicked as he remembered the paw prints and the old collar. It probably ran off and the owners had to leave it behind if the couldn’t find it. He ran out in his bare feet, lifting the animal in his arms. He could feel its bones. Definitely malnourished. Maybe it had been in the woods for months.

He carried it inside, closing the door. Arms full of dog, Liam scanned the small space for a spot to set it down. The bed was the closest thing to the over, and the poor thing looked like it needed warmth and food. He made a spot on the bed and heaped blankets around the dog, making a loose-fitting nest.

Liam took a second to study the dog—he wasn’t sure what kind it was. Black was a nice color though, with small ripples of silver and white running through its fur. Maybe it was a type of German Shepherd. Liam liked German Shepherds. He ran his fingers through the dense fur. The dog’s breathing was steady—the only sign that it was alive. Liam’s hand came to rest on the ribs sticking out from under the animal’s hide. When it woke up it would be hungry. Liam gathered up his rejected hot dogs. Too black for him but maybe the dog would eat them. If not he’d cook some more. Or even just feed them to the dog out of the package. Dogs would eat pretty much anything he thought.

Liam stood, grabbing the apron. He hummed as he copped up the hot dogs, trying to take off the worst burnt parts and dumping the remainder in a bowl. Dogs ate out of bowls. That much he knew. When he turned around he was greeted by two, large golden eyes studying him from the bed. A low growl came from the dog’s throat.

‘Hey, hey. It’s okay. You’re safe and warm.’ Liam said, holding up his hands in peace. ‘Look.’

He held out the bowl of chopped hot dogs. The dog whined, tail thumping as it smelled the food. It glanced back up at Liam, growling again.

‘I’m not going to hurt you. Here. I’ll just, set this here.’ Liam said, placing the bowl close to the side of the bed. The dog huffed, struggling to get to weak legs. Its claws clacked against the wooden floor as it left the bed, muzzle disappearing into the bowl. In a flash the hot dogs were gone. The dog stood, studying him, sniffing the air. Liam looked him over—besides cold and hunger he seemed okay.

The dog gave another soft growl, nudging the bowl.

‘You want more?’ Liam asked. The tail wagged. He tossed a few raw hot dogs into the bowl and the dog ate them slower than the first round. He finished and nudged the bowl again. Liam frowned. The dog was bossy.

‘I don’t have any more.’ Liam said. Which was true. He’d need to go into town and get supplies after the storm was over. The dog wagged his tail, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

‘Water? Is that what you want?’ 

The dog nudged the bowl again. Liam guessed it was a yes. He filled the bowl using the water from the jug. The dog lapped at it continuously until it was gone, watching Liam with contented eyes as he took the dish away.

When he turned around the dog had cuddled back into his spot on the bed. Liam threw a log in the stove and circled to the far side of the bed. When he sat down the dog growled.

‘Oh shut it. We’re sharing.’ Liam muttered, wiggling under the blankets. He could feel the warmth from the dog curled up beside him. He’d have to get some proper food the next time he drove into town—it probably wasn’t healthy for a dog to live off of table scraps. The wind howled outside, shaking the roof. The dog curled into Liam’s side, burrowing his nose into his warmth. Liam absently scratched behind the dog’s ears.

‘G’night bossy dog.’

The animal snorted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes big, black dogs turn out to not be big, black dogs. O_O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some minor, minor angst! But the funny times and fluff ensue!

Liam yawned, stretched out his arms. He knew his hair was sticking up in every direction. The inside of the cabin was cool, but not cold. He shuffled out of bed, shivering. He reached for a blanket to wrap around his shoulders only to be met with a big, golden eye as the dog dared him to yank on his bedding.

‘Sorry.’ Liam rubbed his bare arms vigorously before stoking the fire and tossing in some kindling. He felt greasy but it was way too cold out to swim in the lake. There was an old fashioned metal tub tucked away in the corner. He could boil snow and pour it in for a bath. Maybe give the dog a bath too. He kind of smelled.

Liam hummed as he ran outside to get buckets of snow and bring them in. The dog watched him, eyes narrowed, as if to accuse him of being crazy. As he heated the buckets up and added to them to the tub, he made the dog a small meal out of the leftover bread and peanut better. Dogs liked peanut butter.

When the tub was full and the water warm Liam realized he’d have to be sitting in the tub with his knees bent. It was a small price to pay to wash away the grime of the previous day.

When he whipped off his underwear he heard the dog start to choke. Its eyes were on him, wide as it tried to back up the peanut butter covered crust in its throat. Liam dove towards it then froze—how did you do the Heimlich maneuver on a dog? It gave an insistent hack and Liam pried its mouth open, reaching in and grabbing the offending bread and tossing it aside.

The dog panted, desperate for air. He looked over at Liam, giving a whine. Liam frowned—he was naked sure. But who cared? It was a dog. Who was it going to tell? Besides, it had nearly died. Liam patted its head.

‘Better?’ 

The dog huffed.

‘Thought so.’ Liam smoothed the dog’s coarse fur and scratched behind its ears. He went back to the tub, settling into the hot water with a sigh. The dog sank to the floor, putting its head on folded paws and watching Liam scoop up water and pour it over his head. He worked shampoo into his hair, later and suds spilling onto the floor.

A single bubble drifted toward the dog, landing precariously on its nose. Liam watched as the animal went cross-eyed to inspect the strange sphere. The dog became a black blur of movement as it snatched the bubble out of the air. Liam chuckled as it rolled its tongue around in its mouth, upset at the taste.

‘Hey,’ Liam sputtered, blowing water away from his mouth. ‘You need a name. I can’t keep calling you “dog” all the time.’

The dog raised its head.

‘What about Tootsie?’ 

A growl.

‘Mmmm, Quinn? Quincey?’ 

A whine.

‘Theodore.’

A curious look.

‘Theo?’

A huff. The dog’s head settled back on its paws.

‘Theo it is.’

###

By the time Liam finished rinsing off and drying himself he’d given up on the thought of bathing the dog. Theo. The dog watched him cautiously as if he could sense what Liam was thinking. In the end Liam figured one more day of smelly dog wouldn’t hurt. Besides, it wasn’t a bad smell—Theo’s fur smelled like pine trees and fresh-turned earth mixed with the faint smell of sweet grass.

Theo pawed at the door as Liam buttoned up his shirt. The dog tilted his head, tail slowly waving in the air.

‘Do you have to pee?’

Theo narrowed his eyes as if to tell Liam to mind his own business.

‘If I let you out will you come back?’

The dog stared at him.

‘I mean you don’t have to…’ Liam trailed off. He hadn’t realized how lonely he’d been the past few weeks. Months. Years. For some reason the dog put him at ease—he was easy to talk to at least. Maybe because he couldn’t talk back. Except Liam had the distinct feeling Theo understood what he was saying most of the time.

Liam sighed. He was crazy.

Theo gave a questioning look. Liam gestured outside.

‘You don’t got to stay. I’m just being selfish. Go on.’ 

Theo snorted and trotted out into the snow. Liam watched from the window as the dog sniffed the air. He basked in the warm sunlight for a few seconds before bolting off into the forest.

Liam sighed. His only friend was a dog and even he’d left. That was fine. He’d ended up at the cabin to be alone. To sort through things. A dog was just a distraction. One more mouth to feed. Something to consume his time and energy.

Still, Liam found himself leaning out the window, trying to get a glimpse of Theo. A few curious chickadees blinked at him from the branches of young trees. It was probably for the best.

Liam filled the kettle from the the water jug and put on some coffee and toast. He finished the first piece and was on his second cup of coffee when there was a loud bark at the door. He froze, trying not to get his hopes up. 

The second bark got him out of his seat and to the door. When he opened it Theo sat patiently.

‘I didn’t think you were going to come back.’ Liam said. Theo pushed past him into the cabin. Liam chuckled.

‘Maybe I should call you Bossy Dog instead of Theo.’

Theo snorted.

‘Theodore means “gift from the divine”. What do you think of that?’ Liam asked, tossing the last piece of toast to the dog. He watched as sharp fangs snatched it from the air. It was gone in a few seconds. The dog blinked then jumped up on the bed, resting on the side closest to the fire.

‘I guess that answers that.’ Liam laughed.

‘Don’t get too comfy. We have to go get supplied in town.’

Liam pulled on his coat. He stuck a few crusts from his morning toast in his pockets, in case Theo wanted a treat.

###

After he’d managed to dig his car out he cleared some space in the back for Theo. The big black dog looked from the backseat to Liam, as if it was beneath him.

‘Well you can sit in the front this time. I guess.’ Liam said. Theo pushed past him and sat in the driver seat, leaning against soft back support. Liam frowned and nudged Theo.

‘That’s my spot.’

Theo gave a low growl. Liam pulled his lips back, showing his teeth and giving a growl back. Theo blinked, surprised. He stood and hopped over to the passenger seat. Liam felt his face flush.

‘I can’t believe I did that. Or that it worked.’ Liam got behind the wheel. At least there was no one around to see him do it. He looked at Theo—did people put seatbelts on dogs? 

He reached over and fastened it around Theo—strap crossing his chest. The black dog tilted his head, accepting the seatbelt only when Liam rolled his window down so he could stick his head out.

The trip into town took a good forty-five minutes. The roads were clear so Liam was able to drive the speed limit. He’d be sure to stock up fully in case they got snowed in and unable to get out in the next month. The less trips he took into town the better. Liam was fine with being friendly and polite, but he did’t really want anything to do with people for the time being. People were confusing.

Theo waited in the car as Liam paid for his haul of supplies. The dog stuck his head out as cars passed by. He looked at them with curiosity, ears dipping then darting forward.

Liam caught sight of sausage links under the glass of the counter. Moose sausages. Theo would probably like those, and he’d certainly never tried them. He added them to the pile. The old woman who was slowly ringing his order in gave him a smile. 

‘For the dog.’ Liam said, trying to make the silence of the drawn out transaction ease if only slightly.

The woman nodded, looking out at the car. Her eyes widened, grabbing a pair of glasses and putting them on to get a better look at Theo. Liam felt his chest swell with pride—Theo was a very handsome, good dog.

The woman looked back at Liam, then to Theo again. Liam frowned a bit—that was an odd thing to do.

Outside, Theo snapped at a few bits of stray fluff in the air. When he was done his tongue lolled out of the side of his mouth, panting in the sun.

The woman made a face and continued to ring Liam’s order in. It took him three trips to get all of the groceries in his car. The woman watched the entire time. Even stranger, three other locals showed up to stare at him and Theo. Liam was starting to wonder if he’d stolen some one’s dog. If that was true they would have said something. Instead they all stared and whispered. People were confusing.

He tossed Theo the handful of crusts from his toast. The dog caught them with little effort, crunching them openly, watching the locals in the store through the window.

###

Liam stoked the fire. It had taken the rest of the afternoon to get home and unpack all of the groceries. They were well stocked now—ready in case they got snowed in. The small store didn’t have any dog food. Extra sausages and meats would hopefully more than make up for that. He didn’t think Theo would complain anyway. His theory was proven correct when he made up several sausages, tossing two to the big dog who munched on them happily.

Liam finished off his dinner with some hot spruce tea he’d gotten from the old woman at the store before she’d gotten weird. It smelled like trees but had a faint, warm taste that calmed him as he drank it.

His mind drifted as he sipped the tea. How had he ended up here? Where did his life go off the rails, or had it ever been on them? College, high school, junior high… something happened somewhere along the way that had put him out of step with the world. Out of step with himself. Or maybe that’s how he’d always been—one step to the side of everything. Nothing making sense.

He dug into his pocket, letting the rings slide from his palm to the table. He was so sure things made sense when he’d bought them. Now they were gleaming reminders of how nothing made sense. Of how messed up he was inside.

He brushed tears away, a brief flare of embarrassment rising to his cheeks, then fading. Theo was safe. Theo wouldn’t laugh at him, or asking him a thousand questions, or try to pick him apart. The big black dog hopped off the bed and made his way to Liam, resting his big head on the man’s lap.

Liam smiled through his tears, burying his face in the dog’s thick fur. His hands gripped Theo’s scruff tightly, but the dog gave no sign of discomfort.

‘I’m sorry.’ Liam whispered to the dog. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how to fix things. I just keep fucking up. Over and over. And I don’t even care anymore, at least not the way I used to.’

Theo nudged Liam’s arm, encouraging him to continue running his fingers through the thick fur. Liam complied, tears drying. 

‘You don’t care about any of that, do you? You just care if you’re gonna get another sausage.’

Theo whined. He angled his muzzle upwards, licking Liam’s face.

‘Gross.’ Liam laughed, trying to push the dog away. Theo huffed and became insistent, jumping up and placing his paws on Liam’s shoulders.

‘Whoa!’ Liam scrambled as the weight of the dog tilted the chair backwards. The back of his head hit the wooden floor as Theo jumped back a few feet. 

Liam rubbed the back of his head—it was a dull ache, nothing more. Instead of being upset he found a grin breaking out on his face, laughter—easy and free, followed it. Theo wagged his tail, making a few happy snorts before resuming his task of licking away all of Liam’s tears.

Liam sighed—he felt lighter. Theo took the opportunity to snatch the last half of Liam’s sausage off the table and retreat to the bed.

‘So you were after the sausage after all.’ Liam said. Theo snorted, holding the treat between his paws and tearing a chuck off.

Liam stood, shaking off the last of his mood. He grabbed the small stepping stool from the corner and used it to give him a boost to grab the extra blankets sitting in the rafter storage area overhead.

Theo watched him. Liam swore there was a twinkle in the dog’s eye as he jumped to drag the box of blankets down—stool not quite high enough to get him there on his own.

Before Liam could scold the dog his fingers grabbed the edge of the box, dragging it down as gravity took hold. Liam landed on his butt, looking up in time to see the blankets fall around him. He wasn’t prepared for a dozen old books to topple out behind them—hitting him in the legs.

Theo rested his head on his paws as Liam cursed up one wall of the cabin and down the other. When the pain faded Liam grabbed the fluffiest blankets and put them onto the bed. He collected the books and sat them on the table. At least he’d have something to do durning the day besides chores.

After he stoked the fire and banked some ashes he squared away the rest of the blankets and pawed through the books that rained down from the ceiling.

The first one was about decorating cakes in the 1960s, which was amusing to flip through just to see the ‘sophisticated cakes’ of the era. The second one was a period novel set somewhere in Canada that he wasn’t likely to read. The third and forth were some sort of outdated medical treatise he couldn’t wrap is head around. The last few were all nature books. He was surrounded by nature—it was the last thing he wanted to read about.

Instead Liam curled up under the covers, nudging the dog over to make room. Theo gave a disapproving grunt before making space. Liam listened to the sound of the wind howling outside. The fire crackled and popped in the stove. His fingers drummed against the blanket. There was no way he was getting to sleep any time soon.

Liam grabbed the closest nature book and started to flip through it. Pictures of bears, racoons, and other mammals were inside. He looked at the cover. Mammals of North America. At least there were pictures.

He was flipping idly when a picture caught his brain like a hook, jolting him awake. 

There on the page, under the heading “wolf” was Theo. Or a Theo look alike at least.

Liam felt his mouth go dry. He looked at the picture—same stature, same color, same eyes for the most part. He looked at Theo, curled up at the end of the bed, content not to move for the rest of the night.

Liam looked back down at the book, flipping through the section on wolves. A small map of territory showed he was indeed in wolf land. But that was crazy. Theo was well behaved, not wild. He understood what Liam was saying most of the time. And he loved treats. Like moose sausages. Did wolves eat moose? Liam scanned the book—yes. They did.

He peered over the edge of the book, meeting Theo’s golden eyes. The beast gave a lazy blink, teetering on the brink of sleep.

Liam continued to read. Wolves were pack animals. Highly social. Theo had no pack. He was alone, like Liam. So he couldn’t be a wolf. Yet there was no denying the similarity of the photos.

He finished the entry on wolves, reading the final paragraph on how ancient ancestors of wolves befriended humans and became dogs. Maybe that was it? Theo certainly didn’t look threatening. Though it kind of did explain all the looks the locals were giving him. Because he was a stranger. An outsider. Who kept to himself. And let a wolf ride in his car.

Liam’s eyes widened as he closed the book, setting it aside to look at Theo face-to-face.

‘Theo, you’d tell me if you were a wolf, right?’

Theo raised his head. Liam rubbed his palms on the blanket.

‘I’m crazy right? You’re just a big, fluffy dog.’

Theo snorted and looked away. Guilt.

‘Theo…’

The wolf looked at him with golden eyes. He tilted his head as if to shrug, then settled back down in his spot, closing his eyes.

Liam laid his head back on the pillow. He was sharing a bed with a wolf. He’d almost given a bath to a wolf. Fed it sausages. Growled at it!

Still, as far as wolves went, Theo seemed pretty laid back. Liam would just have to be sure to keep the sausages in high supply.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a big, black wolf is not a big, black wolf!

There was no denying that Theo was a wolf. Over the past few days he’d watched the dog chase birds. And rabbits. And squirrels. And pretty much anything that moved in the snow. Theo had boundless energy, and a bossy attitude. Other than that they got along well. Liam was pretty sure that wolves didn’t just decide to tolerate human presence. Or even embrace it. Theo didn’t have a pack—maybe that was part of the reason that the black wolf stayed around. Maybe he needed Liam as much as Liam needed his company. That and the sausages.

Still, it was nice to have someone around that he could talk to, and didn’t judge him. Well, sometimes he did feel like Theo might be judging him. But not in an overly critical way. Besides, Liam just ignored him and kept on talking about whatever was bothering him.

At Theo’s urging, they’d been taking long walks in the woods—making their way through the snow and ice. It was calming to be surrounded by stillness of the forest. The animals made themselves scarce with Theo on the prowl. Plus Liam’s graceless romping in the snow didn’t encourage any wildlife to stick around. A few curious chickadees hopped around in the high branches, too far to be a meal.

They made their way in a circle, looping back to the cabin. The road in was covered in ice nearly a foot thick. Liam was glad he’d gone into town to stock up on supplies before the weather had turned for the worse. The cabin remained cozy, and Theo gave off more heat than the wood stove at night. As they came to the edge of the lake Liam tested the ice—it was fairly thin. He’d always wanted to try out a polar bear dip, but it would be so very cold.

Theo pawed at the edge of the ice before trying to break off a piece with his teeth. Liam frowned. He was always putting things like this off until later. His whole life had been perpetually around the corner. After he finished high school. Once he finished college. As soon as he got a good job. All those moments he let slip by because he was waiting for things to stabilize. To settle. To make sense. When in reality, when did anything ever make sense?

‘I’m gonna do it.’ Liam said. Theo blinked. Liam used his foot to break through the ice. After a few minutes he had a good sized hole made in the ice. Big enough to run into, dunk his head and then pop out. 

Liam opened the door to the cabin and started to get things ready. A towel, some blankets, extra log in the fire. It was probably best to have someone else around to do this, but Liam was only going to go in up to his waist.

Liam pulled off his shirt only to be met with a puzzled look on Theo’s face.

‘I’m doing a polar bear dip.’ Liam said, struggling out of his boots.

Theo huffed.

‘I’m gonna run out there, jump in the lake, and then run back inside.’ Liam said. Theo tilted his head.

‘Because it’ll make me feel alive.’ Liam said, unbuttoning his pants.

Theo sat down, turning his head away. Liam had never heard of an animal who was so avoidant to nudity. Or one that cared in any way. It didn’t matter—Liam was going to dive in that lake and start doing things differently in life.

Liam’s hand was frozen on the latch—it was going to be freezing. Theo gave a whine.

‘I’ll be fine. Just watch!’ Liam smiled. He took in a huge breath to brace himself then opened the door. The cold hit him hard, almost knocking the wind out of him. Liam bolted to the lake—with each step his feet got more and more numb. A brief moment of doubt creeped into his mind as he got to the water. It gripped his brain tight, but it was too late. He plunged into the water and it socked him in the gut.

The water was like knives, each edge sharpening itself on his skin. The cold stabbed into him and Liam felt his insides scream in shock. Why did he think this was a good idea. At least he wasn’t in too deep. He turned to see Theo staring at him from the doorway of the cabin. As he lunged forward to get out of the water he slipped, falling backwards into a sudden drop off. The dark lake water swallowed him, and suddenly Liam found himself submerged and freezing.

Panic spiked in his brain—he needed to swim back to the surface. His limbs were like lead, stiff and awkward. He forced his arms to obey, pushing himself to the surface of the lake as his lungs were about to burst. His fingers met slick ice—he came up at a different spot. His lungs were on fire now. Liam made a fist and slammed it into the ice. It didn’t budge, or even crack. He hit it again—nothing. He was going to die.

As his limbs grew sluggish and the corners of his vision dimmed, Liam was barely aware of a dark figure looming above him on the ice. He fought the urge to take a breath as the figure rose up. A dull thud echoed under the water as Liam lost consciousness. The last thing he felt were hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him upward.

###

Liam’s head felt like it was splitting in two. Sweat poured from his skin as he pushed away the quilts and blankets piled up around him.

‘Theo…’ Liam felt around for the wolf’s thick fur, finding nothing.

‘Don’t move.’ The voice was deep and gravelly. Hands tucked him back in to the nest of blankets. Liam struggled to turn his head. Whoever it was needed to help him.

‘Please. My Theo. He’s… you need to find him.’ Liam said.

‘Rest.’ The voice insisted.

‘Theo… I need Theo.’ Liam muttered. A cold cloth was pressed to his head and Liam felt the weight of sleep return. 

‘He’s right here.’ The voice reassured him. Liam smiled and sighed in relief. As long as Theo was safe everything was okay.

###

‘Open.’ The voice commanded. Liam blinked, looking at the spoonful of mush on the spoon in front of his face. He frowned and opened his mouth to tell the voice that he did not, in fact, like mush. As soon as he did the spoon went in. Too far. Liam choked, pushing the spoon away.

It clattered to the floor.

‘What the hell are you trying to—‘ Liam’s words died on his lips. The man sitting beside his bed was gorgeous. Dark green eyes and messy hair. Scruff. Thick shoulders and chest. Bronze skin. Liam’s eyes continued down. There was a beautiful, strange, naked man sitting beside him in his cabin.

‘Theo!’ Liam yelled, leaping out of bed. The stranger’s eyes widened as Liam called for the wolf. ‘Theo where are you?!’

Liam looked around for a weapon. He grabbed the porcelain duck-shaped lamp and brandished it in front of him.

‘If you hurt my friend I swear to god I’ll… I’ll just… you’ll regret it!’ Liam snarled.

Green eyes blinked, an expression formed slowly. It looked like the stranger was confused with what his own face was doing. His eyebrows drew together as he forced his mouth into a slight smile.

‘You’re a psycho. A psycho pulled me from the lake and now I’m going to die. I’m going to be killed by a psycho. Theo!’ Liam yelled over his shoulder.

The stranger tilted his head in a strange way, that seemed familiar somehow, and made a odd sound—a chuckle that tapered out into deep, full blown laugh. The lamp dipped, dropping slowly. The stranger, though very naked, was charming. A charming psycho who was walking around naked in Liam’s cabin after pulling him from an icy death.

‘What did you do with Theo?’ Liam scanned the room. The stranger folded his arms. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

‘What makes you think I did anything to him?’

‘Umm, strange naked man in cabin. Wolf is missing. Math says you have something to do with it. At worst you locked him out.’

‘How do you know he didn’t run away?’

‘Theo? Please! He’s addicted to those moose sausages. There’s no way he’d leave!’

‘They’re a bit too salty, actually.’

‘The…what?’

‘The sausages.’ The stranger tilted his head. Just like Theo did. But that was impossible. Liam frowned.

‘The sausages.’

‘The sausages.’ The stranger nodded. Liam blinked.

‘You’re… Theo?’

The stranger nodded.

‘But you were a wolf.’

More nods.

‘And now you’re hot.’

A chuckle.

‘And human.’

Liam’s keens wobbled, giving out suddenly. The stranger, Theo, swooped down and caught Liam before he hit the floor. It was then Liam realized he was nude.

‘I don’t have clothes on.’

‘You’re always taking them off, I didn’t think you’d mind. Plus you were kind of freezing to death.’ Theo said.

Liam stared at the man’s face, touching it gently with his finger tips. Theo chuckled.

‘Sorry.’ Liam said, ‘I just…can you lean down?’

Theo paused, then bent down—face inches from Liam’s. Liam felt the blood rush to his cheeks. Theo smelled earthy. Musky. Liam shook it off. He ran his fingers through the stranger’s thick hair. The memory of petting the wolf, giving him lazy scratches, came to mind. Theo leaned back—hair all over the place.

‘You are… Theo.’ Liam felt tired suddenly.

‘Try to get some sleep.’

Liam’s eyelids felt heavy. As he sank into sleep he reached out to grab the wolf, finding soft skin instead of fun. He mumbled and pulled the shape closer. He needed Theo close by to get to sleep.

###

Liam was warm. The arms around him were strong. He nuzzled against the chest of the guy he was sleeping with. It’d been a long time since he picked anyone up at the bar. It was nice to have someone to share a bed with. 

As the fog cleared from his brain he tried to make sense of the strange dream he had last night. That Theo, his wolf friend, was a handsome, buff guy that had saved his life. Kind of like the one he was in bed with.

Liam sighed. Suddenly he got the feeling that he was about to deal with a lot of insane stuff that wasn’t in fact, a dream.

‘Theo?’ He asked. A mumble from beside him told him that it wasn’t a dream. And his wolf was a man. And they were naked in bed together.

‘Stop squirming. You always hog the blankets.’ Theo mumbled. Liam kicked and struggled until suddenly the bed wasn’t beneath him anymore and he landed on the cold floor with a thud.

‘Ow!’ Liam hissed. He looked up to find green eyes staring down at him. Liam sighed. He pulled a pillow over his groin and collapsed backward on the floor.

‘So…’ Liam said, ‘What is it? Monster? Science experiment? Angel?’

‘Angel to some, demon to others.’ Theo smirked. Liam shot him a glare.

‘You have no sense of humour.’ Theo said, arms dangling over the edge of the bed. ‘I’m still me. Just a different shape.’

‘How?’

Theo shrugged.

‘Well that’s helpful.’ Liam said from behind his arm.

‘I needed thumbs. Arms.’ Theo said, voice dropping to a whisper, ‘You were dying.’

Liam peeked from behind his arm.

‘Has this ever happened before?’

‘No.’ Theo said.

‘So you just… poof. Human.’

Theo rolled onto his back, letting his head drop down to look at Liam.

‘I remember seeing you run to the lake. And you were screaming, then you disappeared. I ran to find you—I couldn’t smell you anymore. You were under there, under the ice. I tried to bite the lake. Dig you out. But I couldn’t get to you. Not in that shape. Then I got strong… and different. And I smashed the ice and pulled you out and you were very cold, and I remember how you like the blankets and the fire box. So I brought you inside.’

‘Are you… Are those tears?’ Liam asked. Theo flipped over and felt his cheeks.

‘Yes?’ Theo said. Liam reached out, running his hands through Theo’s hair. The man closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, letting out a sigh as he calmed down.

‘I have no idea if I’m crazy. Or if I drowned and this is a dream. Or if any of it is real. But I feel okay. Okay? You saved me.’

‘You snore.’ Theo said. Liam swatted him on the ear. Theo gave a snarl, which was comical to see as a human. Liam gave his own growl. Theo’s eyes widened. For a long second the only sound in the cabin was the fire crackling. Then Liam started to laugh at the absolute absurdity of the situation. Theo drew back, perplexed, then joined in with laughter of his own.

‘Oh my god!’ Liam said, ‘I changed in front of you!’

‘I assumed that was on purpose. Modern man. No modesty.’ Theo said.

‘No! I didn’t know you were a… this!’

‘Wolf.’

‘Not anymore!’

‘Well it’s not like I meant to do this.’ Theo folded his arms and sat up. Liam turned away, blush colouring his cheeks.

‘Put some pants on.’

‘Why? This way we’re even.’ Theo said, folding his legs and smirking.

‘You’re such a…bossy dog!’ Liam said, throwing the pillow at Theo’s face before grabbing a pair of sweatpants. Theo laughed until a pair of shorts slapped him in the face.

Liam flexed his hands and toes—he was alive. By some strange turn of events he was alive. And the wolf that was living with him was now an impossibly good looking guy. With an amazing smile. And body.

‘Food.’ Liam said.

‘On the floor.’ Theo said, pulling on a t-shirt that Liam handed him.

Liam looked down—the pile of mush Theo was trying to feed him earlier was in a metal bowl. A mixture of water, oatmeal, flour and whatever spices Theo could get his paws on. Hands on. Liam picked it up and made a face.

‘I didn’t know how to make the sausages.’ Theo offered. Liam dumped the bowl into the sink.

Liam focused on cooking some food while Theo wiggled his toes. Now that danger had passed, Liam wasn’t sure what to do in the situation. Would Theo turn back into a wolf? What had he been doing in the woods, alone to begin with? What would he do now?

‘You’re thinking.’ Theo said.

‘No, I’m not.’

‘Okay. But you’re definitely gonna burn those.’

‘No. I’m not!’ Liam said.

‘One on the far left is starting to charr.’ Theo sniffed the air. Liam looked—he was right.

Liam grumbled and put his food onto a plate. He was about to toss the sausage to Theo—the sight of him sitting on the bed with wide eyes made him pause. He grabbed another plate and set it in front of Theo. The former wolf raised an eyebrow, sniffing it before tearing into the sausage with his teeth. Not an attractive sight.

Liam settled in at the table, eating slowly. Theo paused mid snarl, letting the sausage drop to the plate. He glanced at the chair opposite Liam’s before sitting across from him. He watched Liam cut his sausage up. Theo glanced at the knife. Liam reached across the table and cut Theo’s sausage for him. Theo smiled and used his hands to eat the bite sized chunks.

‘So… what were you doing out in the woods by yourself?’ Liam asked. ‘I thought wolves were family animals.’

Theo fell quiet. The shift in mood was easy to pick up on.

‘I’m sorry.’ Liam said.

‘There was a storm. I got lost. I looked for a long time. Days. Weeks. I thought I was going to die alone.’ Theo said.

‘Then you saved me.’ Theo looked up at Liam. His smile broke something loose inside of Liam. Something that he never felt before. It was warm and blooming and it confused him. Liam’s mouth was dry. His heart was racing. 

‘What now?’ He asked.

‘Well I don’t know about you,’ Theo said, tossing the last piece of sausage into his mouth, ‘but I’m still kind of tired.’

Liam put his plate into the wash basin. ‘You’re sleeping on the floor.’

By the time Liam turned around Theo was leaping onto the bed and burrowing under the covers, reminding Liam of his antics as a wolf. Liam sighed. Theo hesitated, then scooted over to leave space by the stove.

Liam shook his head and got under the covers. He never thought he would be under several quilts in a small, warm cabin cuddled next to a man that, just yesterday, used to be a big, black wolf. Still, he wasn’t about to complain.

###


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam tries to reconcile his old life and his new perspectives. Plus cuddly wolf habits!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo....here is some more of this madness!

‘My tail is gone.’ Theo said.

‘I noticed.’ Liam said from the table. Theo was standing in front of the mirror, looking over his brand new human body. Currently he was spinning in slow circles, trying to see if he could find any trace of his tail. Liam snorted, making Theo shoot a glare at him.

‘How do you live like this? I can’t smell anything.’ Theo said, trying to catch a scent.

‘Trust me, that’s more of a blessing these days. In the city anyway.’

‘The city?’

‘Yeah. Buildings. People. Cars.’ Liam said. Theo made a noise—clearly he didn’t like the city. Over the past two days Liam had found it stranger and stranger to talk to Theo. The wolf could speak, and knew a lot of words and concepts, but some things didn’t seem to track or carry over. It didn’t make a lot of sense, though Liam did suppose turning into a human in the blink of an eye also didn’t fit the definition most people had of a normal, everyday event. 

Liam watched as Theo opened his mouth and looked at his teeth.

‘Would you stop that?’

‘I can’t help it! They’re so flat.’

‘This is like the fifth time today.’ Liam said.

‘I’m hungry.’ Theo turned and made a face. Liam rolled his eyes. The puppy dog look didn’t have the same effect when Theo was human.

Theo narrowed his eyes, thinking. He walked over to Liam who was currently nose-deep in a period romance novel set in Canada (the one he swore he’d never read but when Theo was inspecting himself sans pants he needed something to escape into). Theo draped his arms over Liam’s shoulders. He could feel Liam tense under his touch. It had been like this the morning after Liam regained consciousness—the cabin was small and Liam couldn’t avoid Theo. It was hard not to stare.

Theo poked at the novel with his finger, making it impossible for Liam to turn the page. Liam felt the blush rise in his cheeks as Theo nuzzled into his neck—trying to nose Liam into doing what he wanted the way a dog (or a wolf) might.

‘Gah!’ Liam swatted at the air. Theo’s eyes went wide as he toppled over. In a state of confusion he rolled onto his back and exposed his tummy to Liam.

‘What was that?’ Liam asked.

‘I’m hungry.’

‘Can’t you like, hunt a rabbit?’

‘Not like this.’

‘How long will this last?’ Liam asked. Not that he minded. But it was easier to talk to Theo when he had four legs and a tail.

‘I don’t know.’ Theo sat up and leaned against the bed frame.

‘Doesn’t make any sense.’ Liam frowned.

‘You’re doing it again.’

‘What?’

‘The thing.’

‘What thing?’

‘The thinking thing. Where you think and think and think and you tie your brain in knots.’ Theo said.

‘I do not do that.’ Liam said.

‘I spent two weeks watching you get yourself worked up over literally everything you could imagine. You overthink. A lot.’ Theo said.

‘I think just the right amount.’ Liam protested.

‘Liar.’ Theo said. Liam opened his mouth and Theo grave a small growl.

‘I will bite you.’

‘You wouldn’t dare.’ Liam challenged. For a moment everything was still. Blue eyes met green—each daring the other. Urging and taunting. Theo leapt up from the floor and Liam gave a roar of panic as he scrambled in a circle around the cabin. Theo lunged for him, snapping his teeth. Liam slipped through Theo’s arms and dove under the bed—bare feet sticking out.

‘Got you!’ Theo yanked on Liam’s feet, pulling him from the hiding spot before dropping his knees on either side of him to pin him in place.

Liam blinked, chest heaving. Theo was smirking down at him. Liam turned away, averting his gaze. This was the worst thing he could have imagined happening. He’d come here to get away from everything. Everyone. And now he was stuck in a small cabin in the middle of nowhere with a person who, up until a few days ago, had been his best friend and confidant. Now that Theo could use words (and thumbs), Liam was at odds with himself. How could he relate to Theo the same way? How could he ever hope to work through whatever it was he was feeling—the new and the old emotions swirling inside.

‘Get off.’ Liam said, voice stern. Theo’s mood immediately dipped. He sat back on his haunches, allowing Liam to slide out and draw his knees to his chest. Liam refused to make eye contact but he could feel Theo lingering.

‘I’m sorry.’ Theo said. He reached out to Liam, eager to make physical contact and confirm everything was alright.

‘Don’t!’ Liam snapped. He stood and grabbed his coat.

‘Where are you going?’ Theo said, the distress in his voice was clear.

‘For a walk. You stay here.’ Liam shot.

‘I am not a dog.’ Theo’s eyebrows drew into a distinct frown. Liam clenched his jaw.

‘I just need some air.’ Liam said. He opened the door and stepped outside into the frigid winter wind.

###

Liam zipped his coat as high as he could. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked into the wind alone. Canadian winters seemed to be particularly cruel. If the roads didn’t turn to ice, there were six feet of snow. Or gale winds that seemed to find every seam or crack in any structure or warm clothing. Theo said that all the bears were sleeping, so at least Liam had that going for him.

Theo. The huge, unforeseen variable in all of his plans. As a wolf, he’d been welcome. At least after Liam got over the fact he wasn’t a dog and was not going to eat him. Theo was good to talk to. To help Liam sort out everything. Except he hadn’t gotten any closer to solving his problems. It had felt good venting about them at least. But that wasn’t progress. Not really. More like opening a pressure valve so his brain could work properly. Talking to Theo was calming. Soothing. But it hadn’t been a magic cure all for his own issues.

Now wolf Theo was man Theo. He had many of the same mannerisms and habits that wolf Theo did—the head tilt. The chewing at his nails. The poking around in literally everything (except it was now worse since Theo had thumbs and height to aid him). The nuzzling. The need for physical contact that Liam assumed was a wolf thing. Or maybe Theo was just one of those touchy people. He wasn’t sure it mattered. What did matter was that Theo had become a distraction. A sharp blade cutting open every stitch and seam Liam had made to keep himself together.

A flash of red caught Liam’s attention. A bird landed on the branch of a gnarled oak. It’s feathers were the color of crimson, and a little black mask over its eyes made it look like a tiny bandit. It hopped on the branch, looking at him carefully.

‘What’re you looking at?’ Liam asked. The bird blinked rapidly, then took to the air. Liam sighed and leaned against the tree. His fingers touched something cold in his pocket and he took out the wedding rings he’d bought so long ago. What had he been thinking? The memories. The feelings he’d once had. All the relationships he’d gone through… the sting of them had become a faint ache. Like a healing paper cut. Nothing more. Gone was the burning ache. The crushed and claustrophobic feeling. The guilt and shame and aimlessness. Before Liam thought of the answer, he knew it.

‘I think I’m in love with a dog. Wolf. Person human. Thing.’ Liam whispered to himself. Was that it? He wasn’t entirely sure what love really was. He thought he’d felt it so many times. Except what he felt now hit him like a truck out of nowhere. Intense. Drawing him to Theo like a magnet. His other relationships were more structured. Organized. Following paths and routines the world expected of him. Rituals he thought he needed to be happy. Do this, get that. Be this way, you’ll be happy. Except it hadn’t worked. At all. In fact, it had culminated in him being in the middle of the woods with the sun going down thinking of how he could watch Theo smile all day as he discovered new, human things.

‘Oh fuck.’ Liam let his breath escape in a rolling wave of silver puffs. The rings in his hand didn’t feel heavy any more. The thinking part of his brain was silent. His heart told him what to do. Leave them behind, let them go. Let the way he was living go. Open himself and become the person he wasn’t letting himself be.

For a second he thought of throwing the rings deep into the woods. It would be dramatic. Epic. Eventful. But that didn’t feel right. Instead he tilted his hand—a small gesture that altered the course of his life. The rings slid off, falling into the deep snow by Liam’s feet. The only trace of their existence was a small hole in the snow, which Liam filled with a nudge from his hand.

The tension left his shoulders, leaving him light and relaxed. Was that all there was to it? Was that the answer he’d been looking for? It could literally be summed up with a self help poster—Be yourself! Except, who was that? Liam wasn’t entirely sure, but now he was willing to find out. To see who he was. What he wanted. All he knew was that Theo was a part of that, however it worked out.

Turning around, he noticed his shadow was gone. All the shadows were gone. The sun was setting and a deep, blue darkness was settling over the forest. Which was not good, because even though Liam had been walking the woods for weeks with Theo as a wolf, he’d strayed far from the places that looked familiar. He turned and started to follow his tracks back to the cabin, hoping to catch a glimpse of the lights through the window, but by the time the last of the sun bled away, he was still in the middle of the forest.

‘Don’t panic.’ Liam said. ‘There are no bears.’

A high-pitched howl tore through the night. Liam felt a shiver run up his back.

‘Theo?’ His call when unanswered. Maybe it was Theo’s family, come back to find him.

Five wolf-like animals came towards him. They moved in-between the trees with ease—completely at home in the woods. Liam recognized them from the nature book. Coyotes. Almost a dozen of them. They were scrawny and thin from the lack of food, just like Theo had been. Liam could see the desperation and hunger in their eyes. One or two of them he might be able to keep back—they weren’t too big. But with so many gathering he didn’t have a lot of option. He bolted.

The coyotes were faster, but weakened from hunger. One of them grabbed Liam’s pant leg, knocking him to the ground. He gave a desperate kick, dislodging the animal’s teeth before continuing his scramble. He didn’t get very far before several coyotes headed him off. As the circled around him his hand shot into the snow at his feet, pulling a thin stick free and holding it in front of him.

The first coyote lunged and Liam whacked it on the head. It yelped and withdrew, glaring at him with a snarl across its muzzle.

‘You don’t want to eat me.’ Liam said, nerves jumbled, ‘Not fat, no flavour. Right?’

He moved, trying to keep his back to the trees and away from sharp teeth. The coyotes growled, hackles raised and ready to strike.

‘You just… you stay back! If my Theo was here…’ Liam licked his lips. His Theo. He would never see him again. What would happen to the wolf-turned-man in this world? Who would coax him into pants? Or teach him how to eat with a fork? Who would make him smile, make him happy?

‘I’m sorry.’ Liam said as the next coyote lunged. It’s teeth sank into his leg, bringing him down like a wounded deer. Before the others could join in the frenzy the coyote that bit Liam was torn from its place by clawed hands.

Theo held it aloft by the scruff of its neck, roaring a warning into the forest. Liam gasped—Theo’s eyes were a soft gold color and filled with rage as he moved to stand between Liam and the coyotes.

The animals hunkered down, wary of the newcomer but hungry enough to remain. Tho’s lip curled in a snarl, revealing sharp teeth. Liam squeezed his calf—the bite hurt but wasn’t deep. He struggled to get up as Theo held back the attack. Liam glanced back, worried Theo might get hurt, when he saw the coyote on the side make its move. It shot forward in a blur of motion, fangs seeking Theo’s legs just like Liam had been felled.

‘Theo!’ Liam yelled. Theo turned just in time, claws swiping at the coyote. As his back turned the others took their opportunity and lunged forward. Theo batted them away with little effort, but the last one was larger and landed on his back. It sank its fangs into the soft flesh of Theo’s shoulder, making him roar in pain.

Liam grabbed the stick at his feet and managed to hit the coyote in the hindquarters, loosening its grip. Theo swiped it off, sending it flying. It hit the ground with a yelp, rolling into fresh snow. Theo glared at the others and roared again. A challenge. A threat. Come no closer.

The coyotes’ body language changed, ears flat and bodies low to the ground as they backed away with pitiful sounds. Once they were a safe distance away they turned their backs and ran off into the forest to find a meal somewhere else.

Theo straightened, then wavered, collapsing to the ground.

‘Theo!’ Liam hobbled over, leaning down to check the wounds on Theo’s shoulder and side. His eyes faded once more to green, and the vicious look turned to one of happiness as he caught sight of Liam.

‘You’re safe. Good.’ Theo said, touching Liam’s face.

‘What are you doing out here?’

‘Following you.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you thought diving into an ice covered lake would be a smart thing to do.’ Theo said.

‘Shut up.’

‘Now who’s a bossy dog?’

‘You’re hurt.’ Liam said.

‘I’ll heal. I’ll be fine.’ He said, holding out something in his hand. Liam took it.

‘You dropped this. Figured you’d want it.’ Theo said.

Liam stared at the golden rings in his hand for a split second before tossing them away.

‘I don’t care about that.’ Liam said, eyes searching Theo’s face. He helped Theo to his feet, supporting him with his shoulder.

‘All that stressing over it, I thought it was important.’ Theo chuckled.

‘No. Maybe I thought it was, but it’s not.’ Liam said. Theo pointed him in the right direction and they started to make their way back to the cabin.

‘Did you find it?’

‘What?’

‘Whatever you were looking for in the woods in the middle of winter at night.’ Theo smiled.

‘Shut up. Kind of.’ Liam blushed. ‘Sorry I yelled at you.’

Theo nuzzled his head against Liam as they moved, showing his forgiveness.

‘I would have come with you.’ Theo said.

‘Out here?’ Liam asked as the cabin came into sight.

‘All you needed to say was come walk with me. It’s all you ever need to say, and I’ll be there.’ Theo said.

‘Theo…’

‘I mean it. Wolves don’t lie. Ask a porcupine.’ Theo winked, making Liam shake his head.

###

When they got to the cabin Liam put extra logs on the fire and cleaned their wounds, setting Theo up with an extra helping of moose sausage and a quiet cuddle. This might not be the answer Liam thought he would find, but it was definitely something good. Something special that felt right. That made his heart warm and fast and glowing all at the same time.

Theo fell asleep first. Liam nuzzled into his chest.

Yes, this was good.


	5. Chapter 5

The sky was clear and cold, but Liam was warm. He watched the frost creep away from the centre of the windows—chased away by young sun light from the dawn. The past few weeks were a mounting blur of happiness as he spent all of his time with Theo in the small cabin they called home. With every smile the wolf-turned-human shared with him, Liam shed a little more of his past. It was quiet and gradual, but Theo had a way of pulling him out of the world in his head and back into reality. Back into his arms.

Beside him, Theo stirred. Liam craned his neck to look at the other man. Theo always looked so relaxed when he was sleeping, like nothing could trouble him. Liam sighed and felt a sudden swell of emotion as Theo breathed quietly. How was it possible to love someone so much? Of had Liam been doing it wrong all these years, and with Theo it had just come together. Random chance turning in his favour. Liam didn’t know, but it felt like his heart would burst when he looked at Theo. A hundred emotions folded into each other—each with an unknown name and flavour. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself.

‘Mmm, whatyoudoin’?’ Theo mumbled as his sleep-heavy eyes fluttered open. He smiled when he saw Liam looking at him.

‘Don spy on me.’ The wolf said with a happy sigh. Liam couldn’t stop the smile if he wanted to—it was on his face in an instant. A reaction. A reflex. Proof that he was alright, because whatever was broken inside worked when he was with Theo.

‘Just making sure you didn’t turn back into a wolf over night.’

‘Mstill a wuff.’ Theo said from under the pile of quilts he’d burrowed under.

‘If you’re a wolf, where’s your tail?’ Liam grinned. Theo poked his head out from under the blanket. His hair was splayed off in every direction, but his eyes were mischievous. He took Liam’s hand in his—something he did a lot. Liam guessed it was because wolves communicated a lot with body language.

‘Right here.’ Theo said, drawing Liams hand under the covers and down his body. Liam grabbed his hand back and blushed as Theo laughed. He swatted Theo on the head, but that only made him laugh harder.

‘Every time, Liam. You fall for it every time.’

‘You don’t seem to mind it.’ Liam said.

‘Why would I?’ Theo moved with a speed that told Liam the entire “sleepy” thing had been an act. Suddenly Theo was hovering over him, held aloft with thick, muscled arms. His hair hung down, grazing the skin of Liam’s cheeks. Liam’s breath caught in his throat, earning a worried look from Theo.

‘I was just… you’re beautiful.’ Liam managed to mumble. Theo flashed a toothy grin and kissed Liam on the nose before he rolled out of bed. Unlike Liam, Theo rarely blushed. In fact, the wolf seemed to bask in the compliments and attention Liam gave him by returning them fourfold, and with occasional teasing.

‘Theo, what did I say about pants?’ Liam asked. Theo was completely naked and getting bowls down for morning porridge—the one thing he was allowed to make.

‘Pants are boring. How can you tell anything about anyone if they’re always covered up?’

‘Weren’t you complaining about me stripping off all the time a few weeks back?’

‘Oh, was I not clear? Those weren’t complaints. Just honest observations.’ Theo winked and Liam felt himself blush again. He hadn’t blushed so much in his entire life.

‘You need to learn to wear them! What about when—‘ 

_—we go back to the city._ Liam didn’t finish the sentence. He frowned, lost in thought suddenly. They hadn’t discussed what they were going to do when the winter was over, and the season was changing rapidly. The ice on the lake was already gone, and the snow was melting. Liam just assumed Theo would come back with him, after all, he was a human now. Or a wolf with a human body, somehow. It wasn’t like he could go back to the forest. Unless he could. Liam had no idea how any of this worked, or even what it was. Theo didn’t either, but he seemed content to spend time with Liam. He spared little thought for the future, and instead enjoyed what, and who, was around him.

‘Stop it.’ The words came with a porridge-covered wooden spoon to the centre of his forehead.

‘Ow.’ Liam rubbed the spot Theo hit before wiping the porridge away.

‘I’ll put on pants if you stop thinking so much.’

‘But—‘

Theo raised an eyebrow, hand on his hip. Wooden spoon in the other hand dripping porridge onto the floor. Him couldn’t help laughing. Theo shook his head and grumbled as he found a pair of Liam’s sweatpants. Normally a little loose, on Theo they were slightly more snug. Liam frowned as he stifled his giggles—it was almost worse when Theo wore his sweatpants.

‘What’s the plan today?’ Liam asked as he dug into the bowl Theo set on his lap. After Theo was sprawled out with his own breakfast he answered.

‘I think we should kiss more. I like it.’

‘Oh, okay. Sure!’ Liam said, ‘But I meant like, if you wanted to go into town or something.’

Theo snorted.

‘Why can’t we just kiss?’

‘We can’t kiss all day, Theo.’ Liam said. In his heart he knew it was a lie, but he was feeling like he needed to get outside and stretch his legs.

‘Kissing is better than licking.’ Theo finished his porridge, ‘Except for when you do that thing—‘

‘Theo!’

‘It’s so easy to make you blush.’

Liam shot him a glare before grabbing the bowl from his hand and taking it to the wash basin. Theo had a way of making him forget all his problems. And everything else. It was hard to focus on anything but relaxing or playing when Theo was around. If Liam was honest, it was the most relax he’d been in a long time. Maybe since he was a little kid.

‘C’mere.’ Theo said from under the quilts. Liam could see his feet sticking out the far end of the bed, and the blanket draped around hid head like a hood—tufts of hair sticking out.

‘I’m busy.’ Liam said, drying the bowls. He glanced back at Theo who looked at him with puppy eyes that always made him cave.

Liam sighed and threw the towel on the counter.

‘You’re not just a bossy dog. You’re completely unfair.’ Liam squirmed under the covers with Theo.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ow! Liam, no biting!’

###

The trip into town was necessary. They’d been low on food for a few days, and even though there was some moose meat left, Liam was intent on saving it since there was none left at the store either.

Theo wasn’t keen on town until he realized they’d have to drive. When Liam came out of the cabin he spotted Theo in the driver seat.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I want to drive there. You always use the car. I want to this time.’

‘First off, you don’t know how.’

‘I’ve seen you do it.’

‘As a wolf.’

‘It can’t be that hard.’ Theo gave a smug look.

‘Alright. If you can turn it on, you can drive.’ Liam folded his arms. Theo smirked and looked down at the wheel in front of him. He poked at it—making the horn beep. The wolf jumped in his seat before cringing. He clearly didn’t like that noise.

Ten minutes later Theo was sulking in the passenger seat as Liam pulled the key out of his pocket and started the car.

‘That’s cheating.’

Liam winked at him.

The store was well stocked, as usual. It was the only grocery store around and all of the locals used it. Liam was surprised to find some many people there. More than he’d seen in months. When the two of them entered the store, conversations died down. There were polite smiles and quiet talk resumed. Liam swore he saw Theo’s eye twitch. Maybe overwhelmed at all the sounds and smells.

‘We need bacon.’ Liam said, looking at the list. He pointed to the freezer at the back. Theo’s eyes lit up.

Liam sighed.

‘Yes, we can get the thicker stuff.’

Theo was gone before he could finish the sentence.

Liam grabbed a hand basket and went from shelf to shelf, moving around people as he crossed things off the list. Lists were good. Lists helped so much. Whoever invented them was probably a genius.

His thoughts were interrupted as he collided with something very solid.

‘Oh sorry.’ The voice was deep. A big hand gripped Liam’s waist and steadied him as he looked up at the man he’d rammed into. He was tall, and handsome. And holding a can of cream corn in his free hand.

‘Oh. Thanks. I just… I wasn’t paying attention.’ Liam took the can and dropped it in the hand basket. The man’s hand lingered a moment before falling to his side.

‘Not from around here, are you?’ The man’s voice was deep. Posture confidant.

‘How do you know?’ Liam asked.

‘I know everyone around here for one hundred miles. And I don’t remember anyone as hot as you.’

‘Umm…’ Liam blinked.

‘You wanna maybe grab a drink tonight?’

‘I don’t… I mean—‘

‘Liam.’ Theo was next to him suddenly, using his shoulder to wedge into the space. The man looked surprised, then smiled before taking a step back.

‘Didn’t know you were with some one.’ The guy said, glancing at Theo. Liam could see the muscles in the wolf’s neck strain.

‘Well he is.’ Theo’s lips drew back into a snarl. Liam knew that showing teeth for wolves was a warning. He grabbed Theo’s forearm, surprised to feel the muscles there tense like steel.

‘All cool. Maybe I’ll see you both around.’ A few more steps back. A wordless retreat. Theo beamed, chest puffed out. He frowned after a moment, sniffing the air. Liam almost yelped when Theo’s nose found the soft spot on his neck.

‘Theo!’ Liam hissed as the wolf rubbed against him. Touching him in all the places the other guy had.

‘What?’

‘We’re in public.’ Liam said. ‘Remember what I said about public?’

‘You smell like him.’

‘So?’

‘I don’t like it.’ Theo growled, hands resting on Liam’s hips.

Liam sighed. Some things about Theo were impossible to change. And deep down Liam found it adorable. When he looked over Theo’s shoulder at the awkward locals he felt his cheeks flush.

The majority of them cleared out when Theo let him go. Liam took the bacon from Theo and grabbed the rest of the things on the list and went to the counter. The older woman at the cash gave him a big smile.

‘He’s a handsome one.’ She said as she punched his purchases into the old register.

‘Yeah.’ Liam mumbled.

‘Oh, it’s alright honey. My nephew, who was my niece once, has a lovely boyfriend. I know all about it.’ She smiled and pointed to a small rainbow triangle on the counter. Liam gave her a smile. As she patted his hand he hoped it was an acceptable action in Theo’s mind, or he’d be holding the wolf back from maiming the only person that had been nice to them the entire time.

###

Days became weeks. At first Liam filled the air with anything and everything that came to mind. Theo always listened. And watched. It reminded Liam of when Theo was a dog. Wolf, really. He never judged or even said anything. Just listened and sometimes reached out to touch Liam’s shoulder, or his leg. Giving what comfort he could. Sharing his problems. His past. Any hesitation he had about speaking with Theo vanished, and Liam found himself telling him the most intimate fears he had. The one time he asked Theo what he was afraid of the only response had been Theo taking his hand and holding it tight. 

Some nights were quiet, sitting by the warm stove in blankets with hot cocoa. Other nights were filled with arguments and discussions from Theo professing the virtue of moose meat versus deer, or Liam trying to figure out where Theo’s actual tail went, to comparing exes with mean squirrels that Theo knew. They were always calm. Settled. Liam didn’t know the name for the feeling, but he knew that wherever Theo was, he belonged.

###

Spring brought robins and song birds. Liam liked waking up to them every morning, but Theo complained they were trash talking him. It gave Liam something to tease him about. At first Theo’s response was mock play fights that ended up with them rolling around on the forest floor. Then quiet chuckles. Then gradually, patient smiles.

It took a week before Liam noticed how much time Theo spent by the window, looking out into the forest as the leaves grew and the animals returned. At first he wasn’t sure what was so fascinating, they spent a lot of time in the forest. When he asked Theo would just say he was tired. They would cuddle or kiss, but eventually Theo would end up leaning on the windowsill, or sitting on a chair, looking outside.

It was only when Theo started to leave the warmth of the bed for the cold sight of the forest at night that Liam stated to worry. His attempts to drag the man back to the pile of blankets and quilts was met with a forlorn look. So instead, Liam brought the blankets to him. They would sit, side-by-side under the fluffiest quilt. Theo’s eyes burning into the darkness, and Liam falling asleep against him.

A new fear grew in the garden of Liam’s heart. The only fear, now that he had left behind the wounds of his past. But the roots grew quickly, and deep. Everything came to a head in the quiet hours of the morning as Liam dozed against Theo’s chest. The sound came without warning, cutting through the cold air like a thin, sharp knife. A mournful howl that made every hair Liam had stand on end. Pressed to Theo’s chest, he could hear his heart begin to hammer. Theo’s weight shifted, eyes darting from tree to tree outside the window.

Liam ran his hand down Theo’s arm. The wolf grabbed his hand and held it tight as he scanned. The hope in his face was painful to see as Liam remembered what he’d read so long ago—wolves were family animals. Pack animals. Highly social. Theo had been separated from his family, and probably left for dead. Even if the wolf howling was a stranger, it must have stirred up all of the emotions Theo felt.

The howl came again—eerie and pensive. Theo’s grip tightened. When the howl didn’t come a third time, he relaxed.

‘What was it?’

‘Nothing.’ Theo smiled. But it wasn’t his usual, carefree grin. There was effort there. It was strained. Liam dropped his eyes and leaned against Theo’s arm. Worry joined the fear—entangling vines and roots drawing Liam deep into himself.

In the morning Liam made moose sausages. The ones he’d been saving up for the past week and a half. Theo didn’t even comment on it. They ate in silence.

‘Feel like going out?’ Liam asked.

‘As long as we’re not going into town.’

‘It’s not that bad.’ Liam said, testing.

Theo wrinkled his nose.

‘I don’t like the guy that was there.’

‘That was one time.’

Theo gave a low rumble.

‘The forest then. Maybe to the meadow?’ Liam suggested.

‘Sure. Maybe we’ll catch a rabbit!’ Theo said. Liam cringed—Theo did like rabbits, but the thought of catching, killing, and cooking one made Liam feel a bit squeamish.

###

The path was barely visible, but Theo had no trouble finding it. For the first time in days his mood was bright and he was playful. On the way they crossed paths with a porcupine. Liam thought it was cute, but Theo made sure he kept a good distance away, explaining as best he could about how the spikes would stick in if they got hit with them. But most porcupines were pretty chill. 

Liam always found it interesting how nature reacted to Theo, as if he was still a part of it. As if he was still a wolf. Which Liam guessed he was, deep down. Even if he didn’t look like it. Other animals gave him caution and respect, where as with Liam they hid. He wondered when in time all the animals of the world learned humans were to be avoided. Feared. He hated the idea that Theo would ever see him as a threat, or something to be hidden from.

The meadow was peaceful, and there were one or two rabbits bouncing around in the tall grass. Theo chased them for a bit, but they were too nimble and got into small spaces he couldn’t with his current size. When he came back to the tree Liam was sitting under Liam chuckled.

‘What?’

‘You’re drooling, bossy dog.’

Theo wiped the drool away and grinned—he was tired from chasing the rabbits.

‘Sorry I didn’t catch one.’ Theo said.

‘It’s okay.’ Liam patted Theo’s leg as the wolf settled in beside them. He wouldn’t know what to do if Theo caught one anyway.

‘You’re happy.’

‘About the rabbit? Well, I just don’t know if I could… you know.’

‘Not that.’ Theo said. ‘When I first saw you I wasn’t afraid.’

‘Gee, thanks.’

‘You don’t get it. We stay away from humans.’

‘Why?’ Liam knew the answer, but he also knew Theo was wanted to talk finally.

‘Humans aren’t safe. You take so much, and kill for no reason. Hunters are everywhere. So much of my family…’ Theo trailed off, ‘We stay away from humans.’

‘When I first saw you, I thought you were a dog.’

‘Wolves aren’t dogs, Liam.’ Theo whispered. There was something in the tone of his voice. Regret. Pain. Something that made Liam want to pull Theo close and press his face to the wolf’s skin. So he did.

Theo leaned into the attention, holding Liam tight.

‘Why weren’t you afraid when you saw me?’ Liam asked.

‘You were alone, like me. Lost. Like me. Ready to die.’ Theo said, then broke into a chuckle.

‘I thought about eating you.’

‘Great.’ Liam said.

‘I didn’t.’

‘I kind of noticed. What was it? Not enough meat on my bones?’ Liam asked. Theo smiled and poked him in the side.

‘Lots of bones. Lots of meat. But… You smelled different. I knew that we were the same. Maybe we looked different on the outside. But I knew.’ Theo looked down at him.

‘Are you… never mind.’

‘Thinking again?’

‘Shut up.’

‘What were you going to ask?’

‘If you were happy. With me.’

‘I think so. Yes.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘I don’t know. All the things you feel, they’re confusing. Not like when you’re a wolf. There’s still emotions, but they’re more… we share them. I’m not sure how to explain it.’ Theo said.

‘Oh.’

The wolf sighed. ‘When I see you my face smiles. Even though all my instincts say it’s a threatening thing to do. When I smell your scent, it calms me down. When we do kissing, it feels like I’m melting.’

‘It’s just kissing. You know that.’

‘Yeah but you think it’s cute when I say it like that.’ Theo smiled. Liam rolled his eyes.

‘I think that’s happy.’ Theo said.

Liam nodded and took Theo’s hand. Theo rested his head against Liam’s and they let the sun warm them as they listened to the wind moving through the trees.

###

They stayed until the sun started to set. When they got home things were quiet. Liam knew their time at the cabin was coming to an end. Soon they’d have to leave. Go somewhere. Not the city. Theo would never fit in there, though Liam felt like if he asked, Theo would follow. He would have to figure something out.

They ate in silence, cleaned in silence, and sat together by the stove. Staying close. Liam wrapped his arms around Theo. When the howling started Liam felt him stiffen. There were more this time—Liam couldn’t count based on the sound alone, but it felt like a whole pack. Calling. Searching. The tears in Theo’s eyes were brushed away quickly, but Liam saw them all the same and his heart sunk.

As he opened his arms Theo pulled them around him once more. Tight. Knuckles white.

‘Please.’ Theo whispered. Liam nodded and kept his grip firm around the man he’d come to love. The impossible person that was both a wolf and a human at the same time.

It was early in the morning when the howling ended. They were both tired, sleeping through the first half of the day. By the time they were up and dressed, the sun was in the middle of the sky.

‘Let’s go to the lake.’ Liam said. Theo lingered, not meeting his eyes.

‘I think I’ll stay inside.’

Liam frowned. This was new. Theo never turned down an adventure in the woods.

‘I’m okay. Just tired.’ Theo smiled to reassure him. It was faded, as if the small reprieve the other day had been wiped away.

Liam nodded. He found himself leaving to go to the water’s edge alone. For the first time in a long time. Alone.

###

Everything changed after that. Nights were torture for both of them—Theo hearing the mournful cry of a family searching for him. Liam holding him tight to help him go against every instinct inside. Because that’s what Theo wanted.

Days were fraught with tension. Theo wouldn’t leave the cabin. He would always make excuses. Not feeling good. Tired. To hot outside. Too noisy. Liam knew that he was trying to keep his scent out of the forest. That Theo was hiding from his pack that so desperately missed him they returned to find him after the thaw of spring had started. It tore Liam in two to watch him, little more than a shadow of who he once was.

Like everything else in his life the small moment of happiness he’d found was slipping away. Theo didn’t belong like this. He wasn’t born human, and Liam thought that whatever had turned him human was cruel, as much as he loved Theo. Loved everything about him. He knew the only thing keeping him in the cabin was the bond between them. Theo had made it clear that where Liam went, he would follow. But this, this felt wrong. Theo was killing himself slowly, all to keep Liam happy. To stay at his side.

Early in the morning, at the start of dawning light, Liam watched Theo sleep. His skin wasn’t as vibrant. There were bags under his eyes. Even his hair seemed to lose its shine. Theo’s words rang in his mind.

_Wolves are not dogs._

What kind of life was this, to be held captive and bound? To be stuck. It tore him apart to watch Theo go against his nature. And it would tear him apart to see Theo leave. The pain of each was vast. Unfathomable. Liam watched Theo’s chest rise and fall. His beautiful bossy dog-that-was-not-a-dog. His Theo.

Liam smoothed back Theo’s hair and pressed their cheeks together. Liam knew pain. He knew chaos and uncertainty. He’d been running against instinct his whole life and never knew it. Theo… Theo was breaking. That was a pain Liam did not know. It was worse than being alone. Than being nothing. And he wasn’t nearly strong enough to bear it.

###

‘Here.’ Liam said as he handed Theo a mug. Theo took a gulp before making a face.

‘It’s tea. It’s good for you.’ Liam said. Theo mumbled and drank the rest down. After that Liam got his clothes off with minimal struggle and got Theo into the wash tub. The wolf made teasing looks the entire time, but lacked the playful energy to engage fully. Instead Liam cleaned him gently, trying to pay attention to spots wolves used to groom and calm each other. By the time he was done Theo had regained some of his energy.

Once he was dressed, Liam started to pull his boots one. Theo sat on the bed watching. After his spring coat was zipped up Liam lingered in front of the door. He reached out, grabbing the handle. His feet felt heavy. His heart ached.

‘Want to go outside?’ Liam asked.

‘I think I’ll stay in today. Sleep a bit more.’

‘It’s pretty nice out.’ Liam said, glancing outside.

Theo followed his eyes, then gave a hesitant smile.

‘I’m okay. Have fun though.’

‘You’re a shitty liar.’ Liam said. Theo’s eyes dropped to the floor. Liam let go of the door and went to his wolf, kneeling down beside the bed. Theo still wouldn’t look at him. Liam sighed and straightened himself out. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t have the words. He didn’t know how to explain himself. Didn’t know how to put things into words. The fear. The guilt. The heartbreak from every angle.

Then he knew. And he was calm. He looked at the wolf that was sitting on the edge of the bed. The one that hadn’t left the cabin in weeks and he did the hardest thing he’d done in his life.

‘Theo…’ The wolf looked up at him, though Liam couldn’t meet his eyes.

‘Come walk with me.’

‘Liam…’ Theo pleaded. He shook his head, as if Liam didn’t understand what he was asking. Liam looked at him then, eyes saying what a fear wrought heart could not.

‘Walk with me.’

Theo hesitated, then slowly stood. Liam took his hand and drew him to the door. Theo stiffened as Liam led him outside and closed the door.

They didn’t notice the forest as they walked, and they didn’t keep track of where they were going. Deeper and deeper, past any place either had gone before, together or alone. Past where they met. Past where Theo saved him. Past golden rings and soft meadows. To tall trees that had stood for hundreds of years. To moss and streams where humans did not tread.

Liam knew they’d found them when Theo’s hand shot to his own, nearly crushing it in his grip. In the shadows they lurked, seven pairs of eyes watching. Seven snarling maws. When the wind shifted and took their scent over, the snarls transformed to whines. Painful noises. Longing.

Liam clenched his teeth, tearing his hand from Theo’s and stepping back.

‘Liam.’ There was pain there too, in Theo’s voice. Liam couldn’t look. Hot tears came then, and dredged up everything sharp inside. Blood and pain and wounds long closed. All open. Bleeding. Raw.

Theo reached for him, and Liam shook his head.

‘Liam!’ Theo’s voice shook. The wolves howled, low and short. Crying because their pack mate was crying. Liam didn’t have to look to know matching tears ran down Theo’s face.

‘Go, Theo.’

‘I won’t—‘

‘Go!’ Liam said, ‘Just go. Please.’

He tried to force a smile as he looked at Theo through eyes clouded with tears. Even that shook and failed.

‘Please.’

Theo hesitated, looking between the pacing wolves and Liam. Instinct won, and Theo hung his head.

‘I’m sorry.’

Liam squeezed his eyes shut and wiped the tears away. When he looked up a big black wolf was greeted by the pack, nipping and nuzzling. Liam burned the dark fur into his mind—it would be the last time he saw Theo. Time was too short, and before Liam was ready they were gone—tearing through the forest. Not looking back. Because wolves were not dogs. And this was the way Theo was meant to live.

‘Fuck.’ Liam whispered. He bent to gather up the clothes Theo had left behind. All his strength left, sapped away by the thundering ache inside of him. The chasm he’d ripped back open. He sank to his knees and clutched Theo’s shirt.

‘Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!’ He held it close, like it could bring him back. Like it could make him feel better about what he’d just done. Help him live with it. Or at least help him disappear.

‘Fuck.’ Liam let the pain engulf him. This was his life. This is what he really deserved. It was nice to forget for a little while. But as much as Theo was meant to live wild and free, he was meant to suffer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hurt me plz! D:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhXQ7nRm68U&frags=pl%2Cwn


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will maybe save my life :D
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2Cm60gf7hk&frags=pl%2Cwn
> 
> .

Days bled. Nights wailed. He didn’t eat. When he slept all he saw were wolves running far in the distance. No matter how fast he ran, or how much he pushed himself, he could never get close. Never get their attention. He was left behind. But even days later Liam knew it was better for him to succumb to his fate rather than crush something as beautiful as the wolf that ran away with his heart.

There was nothing left. There was no point to it anymore. He’d counted out the ways forward, the paths in front of him. They all took him back where he came from. To that empty place that seemed so far away now. A life that didn’t belong to him. Dull and formless now, after Theo.

Eventually he stopped going outside, content to sit by the window. Or on the bed. Doing nothing. Being nothing. Waiting for time to end. Night was easier then because there was no light to hide from. Liam knew then who had done all of this. The one that had engineered the downfall of his life was himself. Every step of the way. He had pushed everyone away. He’d sabotaged every relationship. He’d torn apart every opportunity that came to him. And when he finally found the only person that made him happy—a miracle in his own right, he’d stood on the edge of destroying him, too. But he didn’t. It was the one good thing Liam had done in his miserable life. The one thing that had meaning. Now, as he listened to the rain come down outside, he knew he was ready for things to end whenever his time came.

He knew it would be soon. He could feel it. The weight of the pain didn’t lessen. The numbness didn’t claim him. It was raw and tearing wider and wider. In the dark he could hide. In the night he could pretend.

The windows rattled as the wind shook the trees outside. The storm was picking up. There was no thunder, but the sound of the rain coming down was ferocious. The banging on the door was nearly lost to him. Still, he ignored it. Nothing mattered now.

He didn’t even react when the door swung open, banging in the wind. He closed his eyes and let the storm into the cabin. He heard the creak of the tree as it fell and for a second he wondered if this was how he was going to die. Instead it fell on the car, crushing it was a strangled cry of the horn. The branches found the windows of the cabin and smashed them in. Liam winced as the rain hit his skin. Water everywhere. Soaking him. Cold. Then warm. Something warm.

As he opened his eyes a big black wolf looked down at him, licking his neck and his face. Liam made a noise—a warbling song of sobs and cries and he sank his fingers in thick, damp fur and drew the wolf close. His tears joined the rain drops already soaking Theo and all the words he might have said fled at the touch of the wolf’s nose to his chest.

Outside the wind raged, rattling the door and blowing things around the cabin.

‘I’m sorry.’ Liam didn’t recognize the sound of his own voice—hoarse and choked.

Theo nudged him. Liam didn’t move. Theo drove his head into Liam’s side, making him wince. Theo stood firm as Liam struggled to his feet. He let the wolf lead him outside, into the rain.

Lighting flashed and Liam saw the other wolves lurking in the trees. This was the end then. Torn apart by tooth and claw. It was going to hurt, but Liam was ready.

He closed his eyes, but nothing happened. The wolves kept their distance. Watching. Judging. Instead, Theo leaned into him, then ran in circles.

Liam frowned confused. Theo stopped in front of him and tilted his head. He was trying to say something, but Liam didn’t know what. 

Theo raised his paws and brought them down on the ground, then used his nose to poke Liam, then trotted a dozen paces before returning.

‘I don’t understand. Theo, I don’t understand.’ 

Theo nuzzled against him, then repeated the actions again, slowly. Liam felt his breath freeze. Theo was spelling it out—

_Walk with me._

_Walk with us._

‘But I don’t know how. I don’t…’ Liam let the words fall away at the exasperated look on Theo’s face as he sat on his haunches. He didn’t know wolves could make that face. The black wolf darted towards the other wolves near the edge of the forest. He turned, waiting. Only Theo…

Only Theo. Only Theo mattered. Only being with Theo. Nothing else. The false life he’d been living, the lies he told himself. His body. His car. None of that was important.

Liam ignored everything in his head. Instead he listened to instinct when it said to run. So he ran. He ran towards Theo—completely focused on him. Nothing else. He didn’t notice when the ground was suddenly closer. He didn’t notice when two legs became four, or when flat teeth turned to fang. None of that was as important as running to Theo. Being with Theo. When he stopped he nuzzled his head against the black wolf, surprised to understand him in a new way. To understand everything in a new way.

The other wolves yipped and howled. Danced and chased. Celebrating together. Theo looked at Liam. They were ready now. For anything and everything. The pack bolted into the night, happy their own was happy, and happy for a new member of their family.

The storm tapered off, and under the cover of night, deep in the forest, two wolves ran together—one black and one white. Never to be separated. Exactly how they belonged.


End file.
